Finding Humor in the Dark Times

I've quoted it several times already, but I'll say it again: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." Proverbs 17:22. We all go through rough and trying times; we all experience sorrow and pain, but even during those times we can find humor. I truly believe that is a gift from God -humor helps us cope. Sometimes we can find the humor right away. Sometimes we have to wait for it. Sometimes it may take years to find. That's why you hear the expressions "One day you'll look back on this situation and laugh" or "Time heals all wounds."

I was 18 when my grandpa died. He had lung cancer and the doctors think that it ended up spreading to his brain. After he was diagnosed he went down fast. He was with us during his final Thanksgiving, relatively the same man. Although he had slowed down, his appetite diminished, and was weaker, his spirits and state of mind were the same – he knew us. It wasn't long before the pain set in and the hallucinations began – in part because of the Morphine, in part because the cancer had spread. Soon he was unable to talk, unable to recognize any of us. He was on permanent bed rest at home and was under the care of a hospice and my grandma. It was so hard to watch this strong man who had been so full of life, who loved his family, who enjoyed a good joke, enjoyed making friends, wither before our eyes. He was gone a few days shy of Christmas.

I was sleeping in a chair in his room the night he died. I had been asked to come over and stay the night with my grandma and cousin to help take care of him. My grandma was a tad on the spooked side because her mother, his father, and some other relative had all died on that same day. That night I agreed to take care of him while my grandma and cousin tried to catch up on some desperately needed rest. I suctioned out his throat as needed, talked to him (even though I doubt he could understand me), and stayed in the chair at the foot of his bed. Eventually, I succumbed to sleep. I was awoken in the morning by my grandma coming in to the room to check on him. That's when we had discovered that he had passed away. I had to seriously struggle with feelings of guilt about that night. I kept thinking that if I hadn't have fallen asleep he would have still been alive. But I had to accept the truth: my grandpa would not have made it no matter what we did. We all knew it; it had just been a matter of time. Nevertheless, a giant wave of sadness washed over the family as we called up everyone and spread the news.

The next few days were a blur of activity preparing for the funeral and dealing with Christmas. My stepdad's brother and his wife were visiting from out of town during this time. Their presence helped alleviate some of the sadness I was feeling. My uncle Sonny told me a special "story" during this time. He told me a story of why the angel sits on top of the Christmas tree. He said (and I am paraphrasing):

"Santa was having a really bad Christmas Eve one year. Nothing was going right: Mrs. Claus was mad at him, one of the reindeer had broken its leg, half the elves were out with the flu, and everything was behind schedule. Santa was in a really bad mood and seriously stressed out as he stood surveying the workshop. Just then, a little angel flew in carrying a Christmas tree and asked him, " Hey, Santa, where do you want me to put this thing?" And that my friends is why the angel now sits on top of the Christmas tree! ;-)

Now keep that "story" in mind. A few days after my grandpa passed away I was with my mom and step-dad at the viewing at the funeral home. I was sobbing as I looked upon his kindly old face laying peacefully in the casket. At some point, the funeral director needed to speak with my mom about something so I followed her and my stepdad out of the room and sat dejectedly in a chair in the waiting area. As they talked, I happened to look around the room which had been decorated for Christmas. That's when I noticed it – a big Christmas tree sitting in the corner decked out in lights and ornaments. And sitting on top of that tree? A little angel. My peals of sudden laughter caused everyone to immediately stop talking and look at me like I was nuts! They asked me, "Are you okay? and "What are you laughing at?" I couldn't even speak, I was laughing so hard. All I could do was point to the tree. When my stepdad saw what I was pointing at he understood immediately. He explained to the funeral director, who had an expression of panic on his face, that, no, I was not going looney but that someone had recently told me a joke about how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree and that's what I was laughing at. Then he said, "She needed that." Boy, was he ever right. That expression on the funeral director's face was priceless which made me laugh even more. It's amazing how contagious laughter can be though isn't it? Next thing you know, my mom and dad were chuckling at me! The little meeting was quickly brought to a close and we left the funeral home. Yes, it was a sad time, but on that night a little bit of laughter helped alleviate some of the strain we were under and gave us a "joybreak."

My point is not to underestimate the power of sorrow, pain, or strife (we all will and need to go through these things), but to point out that sometimes we can find humor in the darkest of situations. Let's not underestimate the power of laughter! Laughter gives us relief (even if it's temporary), it helps us cope, it helps us heal, and it can help calm tense situations. So many people take themselves too seriously when they should really just lighten up! They'd probably find themselves a lot happier if they did. So, how did I come by today's subject? I happened to find the clip below of Mark Lowry discussing a motorcycle accident he was in. He took what had been a very serious situation to him and was able to find humor in it. I'm sure he wasn't able to laugh about it at the time, but it comes back to what I mentioned earlier about finding humor later on. What about you? Do you have any situations that you didn't find funny at the time, but you now look back on and laugh? Feel free to share in the comments section below. In the meantime, enjoy Mark's story!